More Adventures in Doctorland

Remember when I gave you advice on finding a new family doctor? I should have added “ask if the doctor plans on leaving the country any time soon” to the list. You may wonder how in the world I’d think of a question like that. Well, when your fiancé calls up the doctor’s office to make an appointment and the receptionist says your doctor no longer works there, and your fiancé asks why, and the receptionist says it’s because she moved, and your fiancé asks where, and the receptionist says out of the country, then suddenly the far-fetched piece of advice “ask if the doctor plans on leaving the country any time soon” doesn’t seem all that far-fetched anymore, does it?

I know what you’re thinking. “But Alice, didn’t you get rid of Dr. Suckypants? Didn’t you replace her with the greatest doctor in the history of ever?” Yes, I thought so too but as it happens, the greatest doctor in the history of ever’s husband got transferred out of the country and she went with him. Pfft. So much for doctor-patient loyalty.  It also just so happens that the notification letters went out to patients during the mail strike, which for some of us apparently meant we never got them. Hence our surprise on the phone this morning. Hence why I have the over-whelming urge to punch the mailman*.

*I’m kidding. I know the rules. Don’t punch the messenger. BUT STILL!

I know that this is not a tragedy. I know it’s not the worst thing that could ever or will ever happen to me. I know that we still have it pretty good because even though we  don’t have a family doctor anymore, we still have free health care and can go to any walk-in clinic if need be. But this still sucks.

I know that there are good doctors out there. I know that I will find another one eventually. I know that this could be a blessing in disguise, or at the very least another lesson learned. But this still sucks.

It sucks because the new doctor I have to try and find will be the fifth doctor that Thumper has had since her birth and she isn’t even two yet. Here’s a quick recap of my adventures in doctorland: Doctor One retired so we were automatically transferred to his replacement. We left Doctor Two because we moved, which led us to Doctor Three, a.k.a. Dr. Suckypants. And when she turned out to be a grade A moron, we did some searching and found Doctor Four, formerly known as the greatest doctor in the history of ever. Now that she’s peaced out, I’m on a search for Doctor Five. This series of events doesn’t sound all that bad but keep in mind, this all happened in under two years. Plus Dr. Suckypants was, well, a disaster to say the least – she didn’t receive her name for nothing. So to say that I’m tired of meeting new doctors and even more tired of having to sit through handfuls of crappy interviews in order to find even one doctor I feel comfortable with is the understatement of the year*.

*It’s probably not the understatement of the year. The understatement of the year would be “Justin Bieber fans are sorta crazy” or “This economy sucks” or even, “That girl from Twilight is awkward**.”

**That girl from Twilight is hella awkward.  

Alas, whether I’m being overly dramatic (which there is usually a 50% chance or higher that I am) or not, the simple fact is that I have to hooker up suit up and find a replacement. In preparation for this, I’ll have to review both my list of advice on finding new doctors, as well as dealing with the shitty ones because let’s face it, there are some crack pots in this world and a bunch of them have medical licenses.

I had better start practising my stick drawings. Wish me luck!

-Alice