Dear fellow mommies,
You may have noticed that my recent posts have been, how shall I say, shitty.
And infrequent.
For this, I am sorry. But you have to understand, I still love you dearly
even though my wedding has been a huge time-suck lately. I guess it’s my fault,
considering that A) I’m the one who demanded a princess wedding, which will be
held in a castle no less— oh hells yes you read that right. A castle! Fist pump!
And B) I am a procrastinator by choice and nature, which is doubly bad
for productivity.
But the thing is, I am smartest in the morning hours. Not the “wee” hours.
No, no, those are for burrowing underneath your blankets and dreaming about a
world where soap operas don’t end. I’m talking about after 8:30 a.m. but before
2 p.m. I don’t know why my brain works best then; some people say it’s because
of a little thing called a good night’s sleep, but I remember a time not so long
ago when I was a fully functioning person well into the night and into those
precious wee hours and was able to pump out glorious and epic essays and short
stories for school. Well, those days are over now. And you might think that
doesn’t sound too problematic. Except that I have a toddler. A toddler who won’t
sleep during naptime if I don’t tire her out in the morning. So mornings are bit
crazy between trying to make storytime at the library before it fills up and
trying to make one billion phone calls (and yes, that is an accurate number) and
rearranging the seating chart for the seventeenth time since yesterday evening.
Once all that is done, it’s naptime. And I don’t just mean for the child. And
after that, I’m pretty much a write off. All this is to say that there’s no
power left in my brain for good blog posts. I am sorry.
I knew I’d been slacking but two things happened to really make me realize
it. One is that my close friend called to ask if I still wrote for the blog, and
the second is that I went back and re-read my very first post on the site. Then
I re-read last Monday’s post. And then part of my soul died.
I will do better soon, I promise. Just...maybe not today. Or next week
either. Once this wedding is over, I will go back to my clever self, regaling
you with tales of my epic parental failures. But for now, if you want some
Alice, you’re going to either have to deal with my lazy, distracted, late posts,
or go back and re-read all the posts from the beginning. (I would highly
recommend the latter.)
Anyway, I am sorry for my poor blogging skills as of late, and once my
wedding and honeymoon are over, I will come back to you. This is I
promise you.*
*Double fist pump for an N*SYNC
reference!
I will leave you with some random thoughts on life:
I think all weddings should be a Ke$ha-free environment.
That new sitcom with Zooey Deschenal is ah-mazing. Everyone go watch New
Girl! There’s just one thing confusing me; did they replace the token black
character with another token black character who looks really similar to the
first guy? Seriously, where did Coach go?! Also, I didn’t know that a two-line
theme song could get stuck in your head for weeks at a time. (Who’s that
girl...it’s Jess!)
Thumper tried some turkey on the weekend and liked it, and then asked
for more. And she started eating peas again. I think the world is
ending.
Angry Birds does not help blog and wedding productivity. But it is so
much fun!
Remember how women warned that you would have re-occurring pregnancy
nightmares? And remember how they were right? It turns out the same is true for
weddings. In the last week, I’ve nightmares of losing a stone in my engagement
ring, and being dumped on my wedding day. Gee, I can’t wait to go to sleep
again.
Dawson is leaving for his bachelor party today. It’s in Vegas. I would like
you all to pray with me that he makes it home safely with all body parts intact,
not married to a stripper, and without a sunburn from a prank that left him on
the hotel roof for 24 hours.
That’s all for today. If you need me over the next few days, I’ll be in the
corner rocking back and forth, trying to avoid thinking about the shenanigans my
fiancé is currently getting into.
-Alice
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