Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Are You There, Alice? It's Me, Your Blog

Sometimes blogging is a lot like doing laundry. Laundry is probably one of the easiest chores to do but despite its simplicity, it’s one of the things I most often avoid doing around the house. Every time I force myself to finally do the laundry, or rather, the overwhelming piles of dirty clothes take over my room and I realize that I have no more clean underwear, I wonder why it took me so long to get around to it. It’s not like I have to sit and scrub anything; the machine does all of the work.

Lately, that’s how I feel about blogging. Writing is easy for me, and I love this blog. I love being able to talk honestly about motherhood and my experience in it, and I love the responses I get each week from all of you. But, as you may have noticed over the last month, I’ve been avoiding it. It’s not like I don’t have stories to tell you – things have been pretty hectic actually, between potty training [insert witty remark about wanting to bang my head against the wall], babysitting my niece for a week [see above brackets for my thoughts on constantly being around two toddlers] and the fact that my not-quite-three year old suddenly has nightmares and imaginary friends [did I mention she’s not even three yet?!]. So why have I been avoiding my own site? Well, I’m lazy.

I could say I’ve been so lazy because I’m seven months pregnant, or because I’m busy trying to avoid death by toddler rage raise a toddler, or because I put sleep ahead of most other activities. The truth is that it’s all three combined.

Motherhood is awesome but it’s draining even on the good days. And being pregnant is no different; quite frankly, creating life for someone else can often feel like it’s sucking the life right out of you. So between the bun currently in my oven and the one that popped out a few years ago and likes to find new ways to make mommy’s head explode every day, I’m finding that all of my energy is used up, hence the constant sleeping instead of blogging. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve always been pro-napping for adults, but it often doesn’t even feel like a choice anymore.

Putting all of that aside though, there’s still the double edged sword of procrastination to deal with. The longer you put something off, the easier it is to avoid. But the longer you do so, the scarier the task becomes, which is exactly how my one week off of blogging turned into a month. Suddenly the thought of writing on here made me a little panicky. It was self-inflicted pressure, but I felt like I had to be super witty and funny or else people would just stop coming around here altogether. But, just like with the laundry, the only way to get over the overwhelming feeling was to just do it. So here we are.  I know this post isn’t funny or witty, but it’s a post and sometimes that’s just going to have to do.

So don’t worry. You will eventually get to hear all about my thoughts on potty training now that I’ve actually done it and what it’s like to have Irish twins for a week. Again, I don’t know if any of it will end up being funny or witty, but I’ll try as hard as I can.

And, if I’m not trying as hard as I can, I promise to at least feel bad about it.


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